Don't get your panties in a twist, ladies; you will agree with the title of today's show.
We discuss creating boundaries in your marriage so you don't start pulling double duty by covering your expectations and your spouse's too! Rick, Liz, and Evan walk you through their recommended protocol for standing your ground.
But first, Liz's teenage son will be a millionaire in the secondary sneaker market, Evan is getting robbed by social media content thieves and Rick takes a hike into Isolation.
Special thanks to our sponsors this week, Larkin's Liquors and Winslow Design.
The show opens with top-of-mind perspectives. Liz pumps up her kid's teacher while talking about his high school forensics course, Evan just posted a viral video that has almost 2 million views, and Rick takes on jury duty. We pause and thank our superfluous Scuttlebutt sponsors this week, Park Street Books and Royal Pizza. In the second half, the hosts read an incredible story about what can happen when your HOA experiences a leadership vacuum. You can't imagine the heartless scumbaggery that can be achieved by some people. But rest assured loyal listeners, this story ends splendidly for the entire neighborhood!
Rick, Liz, and Evan kick things off with a butt joke. Then the conversation turns to Liz and Evan as Rick asks if they worry about saying something on the show that might backfire in the workplace. Wait until you hear how much both of them don't give a shit! One out of three hosts of this show thinks being a room parent is fun. Rick tells you why! "The Minister of Misinformation" checks in to repair all the inaccuracies from last week. Then, a moment to express our gratitude for our sponsors, Winslow Design and Perez Martial Arts. Then for our big story, Evan digs into the reality that we all can be tripping our balls off instead of dealing with this world once we vote to legalize magic mushrooms. The gang plays a round of Shroom or Gloom where they have to guess which celebrities have gone on a journey and which one's are boring.
This episode features the best- and worst-dressed co-hosts in podcasting. Rick noticed, and he didn't let it go. The trio is divided on their impression of Spirit Airlines; two have flown on this discount bus with wings and survived, while the other forbids his family from flying on it! The conversation then segues into managing stress while teaching your teen how to drive. Also, isn't it poetic to hear your elementary school-aged kid drop "69" into the conversation with a snicker? Then it's over to the guy with the most job security in the country, Mike, the Minister of Misinformation, as he delivers all the corrections to the stuff we thought we heard somewhere from a reliable source one time. For example, Mike has obtained Paige Spiranac's actual cup size! Finally, the conversation touches on a thesis that TikTok can read your mind. The evidence is undeniable! Then the hosts do the advertising break because they love the sponsors. Shout out to Royal Pizza and APC Pest Control! Alas, this week's main story comes to us from the 7th layer of hell where an HOA claims dominion over your fun! It's an exhibit of how to do things right vs. doing things wrong.
I scream you scream, we all scream for...that sonofabitch who dropped a dime on a kid who set up an ice cream stand in his front yard. Not only did someone call the authorities but the town officials pursued this complaint! The kid donated some
proceeds to support his older brother's hockey team. By the way, his brother is autistic. Talk about an overreaction! Listen to find out what the community did about it. But first, the show opens with a take on strip poker and then boobs in general. Switching gears, Liz shits on chore charts. Rick and Evan are polar opposites about the importance of making your bed. And speaking of beds,, Evan also explains the difference between your sleeping pillows and your "fun" pillows. Plus, friend of the show, Mike the Minister of Misinformation from Mesa lists all the things we said that were incorrect on the last episode.
Liz has an unfortunate epilogue to her story about the oblivious neighbors who clear-cut their backyard. It's a classic case of, "What would you do?" But first, Rick's wife finds a printout of Paige Spiranac in the printer and she's not impressed. No worry, there's a perfectly justifiable reason! Also, we have a free $4,000 Creatives Playthings play structure we're giving away free! No, it's not a contest, Rick needs it gone. Would you like it? Listen for details.
If you judge a society by how its women are treated then the USA gets an F because the only place a woman can bear her breasts is in a strip club and that is oppressive. Thank God some boob advocates created "Free the Nipple" day. Also, a neighbor who records kids and complains about them online, a listener's keen observation about our studio, and how to tame a testing 'Tween.
How early should we get kids drinking non-alcoholic beverages? There's no Federal law against it so tell the little ones to sit criss-cross-applesauce around the keg because it's time to funnel! Also, letters from listeners, local social media drama, and keister beads.
The IT guy at the office is an enigma but if you talk to them about something besides computers, you'll realize they're only half the nerd you thought they were. Our guest, Mike Kniskern keeps the computers running for the City of Mesa, AZ and we keep the jokes coming at his expense. Also, a fraternity flashback, listener emails, and a selectboard showdown in Ipswich, MA.
No small town across the US is immune to "the crazy news story". This week we found 3 "amazingly bizarre crazy news stories"! These are the top-shelf kind; a hungry homeless bank robber taking a lunch break, a cereal restaurant swindler's ultimate con, and a dog-loving bicycle thief whose heart is bigger than his head. Also, fun 80s movie references, letters from listeners, and dog snout sack taps.
Liz opens the show with enthusiasm to announce a new corporate buzzword. It's so annoying, you'll love to hate it. Then, Evan discusses tattoos, their significance, and regret. Rick hangs out and asks them all the tough questions.
It's the "most magical place on earth" so please let us into your room to ensure you're not stockpiling weapons or trafficking humans. We have the official policy and some comments from Disney bloggers who are unhappy about it. Also, a review of Eddie Murphy's new movie, a hot take on glitter stickers, and a "hang loose" reference.
Find out what happens when you call Disney 911. It's truly a Mickey Mouse operation.
Also: surviving 95-degree heat during a thunderstorm (every day), mandatory room checks, and one-ply toilet paper.
Liz, Evan, and Rick spent the week apart from each other. It happens sometimes. So, here's some highlights! Liz thinks Seattle has its head up its ass, Evan tries to sell property with a dead body, and Rick rides the short bus.
How can society be concerned about who our next president will be when we have much bigger issues to resolve? Is Avril Lavigne dead and been replaced by a clone? Is the Denver Airport the Illuminati headquarters? Are Richard Simmons and Pauly Shore the same person? We have all the answers! Also, prop bets on Rick's Disney trip, our favorite summertime drinks, and pineapples make it taste better.
What does gross Japanese tea, a monkey bite in Mexico, and trimming your bush have in common? Absolutely nothing! But we masterfully weave all of that and more into a riveting one-hour conversation like, playing explicit music at your daughter's 12th birthday party, how to kill your neighbor's tree (and get away with it), and of course, a "Hawk Tua" reference.
Make all preparations for getting underway! LT Tom Struble talks us through his experience serving on the USS Virginia nuclear submarine. Hear what happens when you send 130 guys together underwater for at least a month. Also: Top 10 Manliest Movies, hunting for Jackalope in Chernobyl, and something about a "cocktail of funk".
Who would win, "person vs. killer whale?" O.K., that's an easy one. How about "person (you) vs. PARACHUTING SPIDERS?!?!?!" Yes, keep your head up because these things are no joke. Also, Rick's wife keeps hiring a "hot laborer", Liz explains how to coach up your kid when s/he's blamed for losing the game, and Evan highlights National Men's Health Week to draw attention to the mental health struggles many men experience.
The fuzz pinches famous golfer Scottie Scheffler, and Rick and Evan (also golfers) share similar experiences. Pink Flamingo Day is coming soon and we have everything you need to know about celebrating the kitschy lawn ornament. Also, a delinquent driver Zooms to court, a teen has a transportation tribulation, and we just got a porn horn!
There's a book about Billie Jean King that's mostly about tennis but there is a reference to being married to another woman. Someone has a problem with this because they didn't watch "My Two Dads" starring Paul Reiser on Sunday nights back in middle school! Also, save the turtles, drone wars, and ballsacksofinstagram.