I scream you scream, we all scream for...that sonofabitch who dropped a dime on a kid who set up an ice cream stand in his front yard. Not only did someone call the authorities but the town officials pursued this complaint! The kid donated some
proceeds to support his older brother's hockey team. By the way, his brother is autistic. Talk about an overreaction! Listen to find out what the community did about it. But first, the show opens with a take on strip poker and then boobs in general. Switching gears, Liz shits on chore charts. Rick and Evan are polar opposites about the importance of making your bed. And speaking of beds,, Evan also explains the difference between your sleeping pillows and your "fun" pillows. Plus, friend of the show, Mike the Minister of Misinformation from Mesa lists all the things we said that were incorrect on the last episode.
Liz has an unfortunate epilogue to her story about the oblivious neighbors who clear-cut their backyard. It's a classic case of, "What would you do?" But first, Rick's wife finds a printout of Paige Spiranac in the printer and she's not impressed. No worry, there's a perfectly justifiable reason! Also, we have a free $4,000 Creatives Playthings play structure we're giving away free! No, it's not a contest, Rick needs it gone. Would you like it? Listen for details.
If you judge a society by how its women are treated then the USA gets an F because the only place a woman can bear her breasts is in a strip club and that is oppressive. Thank God some boob advocates created "Free the Nipple" day. Also, a neighbor who records kids and complains about them online, a listener's keen observation about our studio, and how to tame a testing 'Tween.
How early should we get kids drinking non-alcoholic beverages? There's no Federal law against it so tell the little ones to sit criss-cross-applesauce around the keg because it's time to funnel! Also, letters from listeners, local social media drama, and keister beads.
The IT guy at the office is an enigma but if you talk to them about something besides computers, you'll realize they're only half the nerd you thought they were. Our guest, Mike Kniskern keeps the computers running for the City of Mesa, AZ and we keep the jokes coming at his expense. Also, a fraternity flashback, listener emails, and a selectboard showdown in Ipswich, MA.
No small town across the US is immune to "the crazy news story". This week we found 3 "amazingly bizarre crazy news stories"! These are the top-shelf kind; a hungry homeless bank robber taking a lunch break, a cereal restaurant swindler's ultimate con, and a dog-loving bicycle thief whose heart is bigger than his head. Also, fun 80s movie references, letters from listeners, and dog snout sack taps.
Liz opens the show with enthusiasm to announce a new corporate buzzword. It's so annoying, you'll love to hate it. Then, Evan discusses tattoos, their significance, and regret. Rick hangs out and asks them all the tough questions.
It's the "most magical place on earth" so please let us into your room to ensure you're not stockpiling weapons or trafficking humans. We have the official policy and some comments from Disney bloggers who are unhappy about it. Also, a review of Eddie Murphy's new movie, a hot take on glitter stickers, and a "hang loose" reference.
Find out what happens when you call Disney 911. It's truly a Mickey Mouse operation.
Also: surviving 95-degree heat during a thunderstorm (every day), mandatory room checks, and one-ply toilet paper.
Liz, Evan, and Rick spent the week apart from each other. It happens sometimes. So, here's some highlights! Liz thinks Seattle has its head up its ass, Evan tries to sell property with a dead body, and Rick rides the short bus.
How can society be concerned about who our next president will be when we have much bigger issues to resolve? Is Avril Lavigne dead and been replaced by a clone? Is the Denver Airport the Illuminati headquarters? Are Richard Simmons and Pauly Shore the same person? We have all the answers! Also, prop bets on Rick's Disney trip, our favorite summertime drinks, and pineapples make it taste better.
What does gross Japanese tea, a monkey bite in Mexico, and trimming your bush have in common? Absolutely nothing! But we masterfully weave all of that and more into a riveting one-hour conversation like, playing explicit music at your daughter's 12th birthday party, how to kill your neighbor's tree (and get away with it), and of course, a "Hawk Tua" reference.
Make all preparations for getting underway! LT Tom Struble talks us through his experience serving on the USS Virginia nuclear submarine. Hear what happens when you send 130 guys together underwater for at least a month. Also: Top 10 Manliest Movies, hunting for Jackalope in Chernobyl, and something about a "cocktail of funk".
Who would win, "person vs. killer whale?" O.K., that's an easy one. How about "person (you) vs. PARACHUTING SPIDERS?!?!?!" Yes, keep your head up because these things are no joke. Also, Rick's wife keeps hiring a "hot laborer", Liz explains how to coach up your kid when s/he's blamed for losing the game, and Evan highlights National Men's Health Week to draw attention to the mental health struggles many men experience.
The fuzz pinches famous golfer Scottie Scheffler, and Rick and Evan (also golfers) share similar experiences. Pink Flamingo Day is coming soon and we have everything you need to know about celebrating the kitschy lawn ornament. Also, a delinquent driver Zooms to court, a teen has a transportation tribulation, and we just got a porn horn!
There's a book about Billie Jean King that's mostly about tennis but there is a reference to being married to another woman. Someone has a problem with this because they didn't watch "My Two Dads" starring Paul Reiser on Sunday nights back in middle school! Also, save the turtles, drone wars, and ballsacksofinstagram.
Its parishioners mock an AI priest, The NY/Dublin Portal is used for explicit self-expression, and the once cutesy heart-hands gesture is now the hand signal of the human lemming. Also, is there a double standard between women wearing athleisure attire and men wearing golf clothes in public? Would you do Kim Kardashian? And finally, REI has a no-bag policy that has a workaround.
From authoritative moms on the playground to being framed for murder by local and state police, everybody is dealing with some baggage. Also, Tom Brady will regret his roast, a "chipper" solution to homelessness, and moms talk so much there's a new term for it: "mom talk"!
What would you do if a school employee yelled at you in the drop-off line, flipped you off, and then referred to you as an asshole while bitching to herself in a raised voice in front of your kid in class? It just happened in our hometown and we are following with awe. Also, Rick used to ride the "short bus", an artist built an AI naked camera, and someone somewhere must be banging a sex robot right now.
There is an increase in parents who drive their kids to and from school. So, with more cars, longer lines, and constantly changing protocols, you know something is about to go down. Don't mess with the mom fighting for pole position! Also, movies are too long, parents are bad videographers, and a good reason not to get an octopus.